Obsessing Over Old Memories
We spent last month in Colombia reenacting some of our fondest memories as a family. This was our third visit to the Eje Cafetero — the mountainous region where they grow all that delicious coffee — and we spent much of it indulging in nostalgia. Our previous trips easily topped our list of favorite vacations.
But retracing our steps was sometimes more melancholy than bliss. I became obsessed with reconstructing old memories and dragged my family into it. I spent nearly two weeks writing and editing a 4,000+ word blog post in an attempt to fashion my existential rumination into a relatable narrative.
While on the ground, I discovered that my brain was riddled with corrupted memories. There were hikes we took on separate occasions five years apart that I thought were one and the same. The walk out to El Ocaso coffee farm, which we toured four years ago, was way longer than I remembered it. All over, I identified details I had missed, misremembered, or forgotten and anxiously snapped photos so I wouldn’t lose any details. I took a lot of repeat shots: same scene as before, but this time with the boys older and taller.
I spent hours poring over old photographs. I compared them to our present experience, which seemed somehow less magical this time. There were newsworthy reasons why this time’s visit didn’t measure up, but I won’t spoil the story here. You’ll have to read the 4,000+ word blog post.
The Luxury of Indulging in Nostalgia
Though it’s probably not the most healthy thing to obsessively dwell on the good old times, I came out the other side seeing it as a positive thing.
I’ve spent most of my adult life too busy and preoccupied to indulge in riffling through the stack of boxes in my emotional attic. Sad to say, I spent almost a decade of my young adult life single-mindedly focused on the next rung up: job advancement; getting married; buying our first condo; moving into our first house; fixing it up because it was a total dive; having one boy, then two, then (oops!) three; and saving up so I could quit my job and travel.
All those things were thrilling (and often stressful!). But they always involved an intense focus on the future. What will my house look like when it’s finished? How close am I to the next promotion? How will I raise my sons? When will crying babies stop waking us up at night? Rarely did they invite me to rehash old memories or consider how we had changed over the years.
Traveling for an entire year invites this reflection. It’s not always pleasant to consider how much time has gone by, how much time we have left, and how many memories have been lost in the fray. But it feels like healing.
Almost Went Parasailing
There are certain risks I’m willing to assume, for instance, traveling South America. Defying gravity is typically not one of them.
But then we visited Jardín, a gorgeous village on the northern end of the Eje Cafetero. All morning, we watched little parachutes, like dandelion seeds, floating serenely over the majestic mountain valley filled with church steeples and clay tiled roofs. Suddenly, the very slight risk of falling out of the sky or snagging a thorn bush upon landing seemed irrelevant. Liuan and I had to do it.
But by the time we inquired about signing up, the wind had changed. The weather was unsuitable. They were finished for the afternoon. That’s alright, we said, we can try tomorrow morning. But that night, our four year old kept us awake for hours crying about a stuffed nose hole, which meant we insomniac parents spent more than half the night trying to get back to sleep.
Exhausted, and with a six hour drive ahead of us, it seemed too overwhelmingly complicated for us to take turns floating off to God knows where while the other stayed behind with the kids. We left Jardín after breakfast.
Almost Became Expats
We almost leapt off a different kind of cliff. We seriously considered buying a piece of land. It’s something we’ve dreamed about since the first time we set foot in this region ten years ago.
But after some looking (as it happens, our Airbnb host was a realtor) we had to pass on the idea. For one thing, 28 days isn’t enough time to turn over all the stones and find the perfect plot of land. And Colombians certainly don’t give away their land cheaply. Though you can get a decent lunch for $7 and a haircut for $4, land is oftentimes more expensive than in the States.
Furthermore, daydreaming about greener grass costs nothing. But preparing to take a leap over the fence forces you to reckon with all the things you would lose. For us that included distancing ourselves from aging family members, giving up friendships, and walking away from a school situation that both parents and kids wished to return to.
All things considered, we have a pretty good life back home. The expat life isn’t a forever no, but for now we’ve decided to stick with daydreaming. (See you all in a few months, 😉)
Latest Posts from Slow Camino
Here are our blog posts from April. Enjoy!
10 Years Since Our First Trip to Colombia, Much Has Changed
MATT - APRIL 27, 2023
We visited Colombia first in 2013, when tourism was still in its infancy. In following visits we witness the country’s transformation (mostly) for the better.
Our 6 Favorite Earth-Friendly Travel Items
LIUAN - APRIL 22, 2023
Going to new places makes it challenging to continue environmentally conscious practices. Here are some items that have helped us live lighter on the earth.
15 Times I Said “Wow, That’s a First!” in Bolivia
MATT - APRIL 20, 2023
At the age of forty, experiencing something fresh can be a rare experience. That is, unless you plan to travel to Bolivia. Here are fifteen “first evers.”
When the Water Runs Dry: Bolivia’s Struggle With Scarcity
LIUAN - APRIL 13, 2023
Visiting areas of water scarcity in South America, and specifically Bolivia, has underscored the value of the “liquid gold” that sustains all life.
A Self-Guided Tour of Torres del Paine With Little Kids
MATT - APRIL 6, 2023
With a 3-year old, three-day hiking expeditions are out of the question. This post describes some child-friendly hikes in Chile’s Torres del Paine park.